What is WRONG With You?
Someone recently asked, “What’s WRONG with Kathy?” As concerned as this may sound, it wasn’t an inquiry about my welfare. It came from one family member to another after a Facebook exchange had taken place. I have to say, Facebook has been such a cool experience. It has brought so many amazing people into my life. On the other hand, it has shown me who people really are. Because people are sitting (wherever) typing onto a computer screen or into a phone, they feel empowered to say all kinds of insulting things they ordinarily wouldn’t say to your face. Quite the cowardly approach, if you ask me. I think I prefer real life, in your face, confrontation.
I decided to answer the question: “What’s wrong with Kathy?” I say that very tongue in cheek, because, of course, I don’t think anything is wrong with me! (Well, OK, there are a few things wrong, but nothing that warrants phone calls between family members…..)
I am a metaphysical, spiritual, liberal, lightworker and healer. I am a feminist, teacher and writer (and hopefully becoming more outspoken every day). I am a divorced, single mom of two grown sons. I am an empath and intuitive. I am a visionary. I am a pagan. I walk a path that is very much like many of my friends and yet vastly different and unrecognizable for so many others. I used to be afraid to let my light shine. I didn’t want people to know who I am for fear of ridicule. I would cushion my words very carefully for fear of offending someone. Then one day I realized, my path is my own, I can walk it and no one need take offense. (If they do, it’s their problem. Don Miguel Ruiz, agreement number one.) I can be who I am. I realized I did not want to come to the end of my life and die with the regret that I never been “me”. I did not, and I do not, want to conform just to make other people happy. The word “conformity” gives me shivers (and not in a good way). Ugh.
And I don’t believe in hell. So suggesting that that’s where I am going doesn’t work for me.
About 11 years ago, when my youngest son was about 9, I got my nose pierced. I have always worn a small stud in it since then (not a giant hoop or anything radical). At that time, my son said to me, “Mom, why can’t you just be normal, like the other moms?” I said, I’m sorry, I just can’t, it isn’t in me. Today, he is happy that I’m not “normal, like the other moms”. (Happy face inserted here.) Having a weird mom turned out to be not-so-bad after all.
I will continue to be different. I will continue to be what others call “weird”. And I will continue to be what some call “normal”. (Ha. All depends on the perspective, doesn’t it?) I will continue to see things through my eyes. I will continue to do the work that I do. I will continue to express my opinions and feelings on controversial topics. I will continue to speak out with my truth, whether it is about my spirituality or politics or women’s rights or WHATEVER. I will NOT be quiet and complacent and agreeable just for the sake of not rocking the proverbial boat. And for anyone who does not want to hear my opinion, you don’t have to stay in my space. You are free to leave at any time you choose. (Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.) I have tried living the life of quiet, passive and subservient. It didn’t suit me. “I’d rather die standing than live on my knees, begging, ‘Please’”.
So, go ahead, speak your truth. Rock the boat. Let your light shine. We are moving forward into a new time in history that requires people to be authentic, real and to come from the heart. I hope that each one of us who is brave enough to be who we really are, empowers someone else to stop living a lie, just for the sake of “conformity”.
Kathy Lee 10/30/2012