Thank You, Disillusionment

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Over the weekend, I had some major insights. They must have been pretty obvious to everyone else because when I spoke my revelations out loud my 21 year old son looked at me as if I’d just said, “Ice is cold”. So, writing this is a challenge because it’s always hard to make it clear but without identifying the characters and not having what I write be cryptic. And for those of you who may recognize yourselves here, I will go ahead and say it, “Thank you”.

Sometimes we drag our feet and kick and scream and we don’t want to go where the Universe is leading us. (Yes, despite my mantra for 2012-13, “Let the river flow and stop trying to put the square pegs into round holes.”) The Universe recently just relocated me despite my protests to the contrary and finally the “why” of it all dawned on me this weekend. And what a dawning it was!

To put it in context, as some of you who follow my blog may know, I ended up in the middle of a nasty little to-do. I was involved with a group that I found to be very condescending and disrespectful to me.  This went on for many months, since these people were friends of my former boyfriend. Without going into too many details, it culminated with me being slandered online and among these people in public.  I left the  whole scene and blocked and deleted many of them on the social networking sites. Now, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal except for me being a part of a larger group (for 12 years)  which these people also belonged to. In a nutshell, I have been shunned and ignored by everyone in this group ever since. To say it’s been hurtful would be an understatement.

We could speculate all day about why people choose to act the way they do. I think Miguel Ruiz has it right when he says: “Don’t take anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”. I’m finally getting on the heart level (rather than the intellectual brain level) what this means. People are victims of their own insecurities, low self esteem, fear and they project it on others and cast blame in order to make themselves feel better. When others are real and authentic, that somehow becomes a threat to their status quo. But that’s not what I’m writing about today. (Just know that it’s NOT about you.)

(This is where the tact part is going to get tricky.)  I realized just this weekend  that it was not in my best interest professionally or personally to stay in the company of this group of people. I realized that in the long run, it would be detrimental to my career plans.  “Birds of a feather flock together”. You are judged by your choice of “friends”.  If you choose to be special friends with people who are mean, hateful, judgmental, hypocritical and highly dysfunctional , it’s not a good reflection on you and chances are, you will end up with a knife in your back anyway. So no matter what, it’s not good. And it dawned on me like a 2×4 upside the head that some people and scenarios would be disastrous to my future career plans.

It took several months, well, I suppose you could say it took 18 months, because that’s how long my discomfort went on with these issues and I FINALLY (can we say “Praise the Lord and pass the beer!”?)  was able to see it from a bigger perspective. It took a really long time to get to this place. But now I can see the Divine plan in all of it. I was being protected and moved out from where I never belonged to start with. To stay there would have been highly detrimental to me in the long run.  It would have been harmful, bad, and I would have been blocked from moving forward.

When I talk about the veil thinning (did you know the word “Apocalypse” is derived from Greek and it means “lifting of the veil”, “disclosure of knowledge“) it means that we are living in a time where the truth will be seen and known. This is true on a personal to a global level. Who people really are can no longer be hidden. We are seeing the truth about everything and everyone.

Now, more so than ever, people, jobs, situations are leaving our lives. Sometimes it seems they are leaving en masse. It can make you say, “What is WRONG with me?. Why is everyone leaving?” Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing at all. What’s happening is that you are attracting those who vibrate at your same frequency. For those that this is new to, very simply put, like attracts like. So a beer drinking football fan is most likely going to have other friends who also like beer and football and the non-drinking opera fan is going to have non-drinking opera fan friends. This is making it very simplistic but you get the idea. We all have an energy we carry with us, our own personal energetic signature. That energy is what attracts others to us or repels them from us. So if you find people are leaving your life (or you’re leaving your job or whatever) it’s because your energy is no longer compatible with the energy of who you’re with or where you’re at.  At the same time, we are attracting those who DO vibrate on our same frequency and who are a part of our “soul family” and our tribes.

If you find yourself in a situation where it feels like you are being betrayed, abandoned, insulted, don’t despair. Instead, give thanks that people are showing you who they really are.  Give thanks that you’re being given the chance to make a decision on how you want to spend your energy. You get to make the decision on how you want to be treated and how you want to respond. I will be the first to admit this, I write about living in times where we need to have RADICAL TRUST that what we are experiencing is for our highest and best good, but I didn’t handle it gracefully at all.  Maybe next time I will do better, maybe not. We will see. There was a hawk outside my window last week and I mentioned it in the last blog, the meaning of hawk is “learning to look at things from the higher perspective”. Sometimes we can’t see far or long term consequences of things. Well, after this massive (obvious to everyone else) (but oblivious to me) revelation, the hawk showed up again outside the window yesterday. Hello!

My message to you is this: if you find yourself being rejected, moved, losing “friends”, losing jobs……don’t despair. The Universe is redirecting you to where you need to be. You may not see it right away but KNOW that it’s for your highest and best long term good. In addition to this entire group I was removed from, I have lost others, some were very long time friends. It’s gotten to the point that I am OK with it. What’s meant to be, will survive. We will be OK. In fact, we will be better than OK. We are moving out of the 3D world into the 4D and 5D dimensions and we are going to be so very very very happy with where we are and who is beside us on this journey. So many beautiful souls are showing up for me already, it’s been amazing. Be your beautiful self and let the rest fall where it may. You may get ridicule or hatefulness. Maybe this means you’re on the right track?  You do not have to let others step on you and smile as they do it. In honoring the beautiful being you are, you can ask them to take their boot off your face then show them where the door is located and ask them to use it.  I share this with you because I don’t want it to take you as long as it took me  to see it from the higher perspective.

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So, to everyone who has helped me in my journey by rejecting me because of who I am, I thank you for showing me where I truly needed to be. Sincerely, I thank you from my heart.  To those who taught me to speak my truth and be authentic,  then rejected me when I did, thank you, too. It’s been nothing less than a trip. What a wild ride.  And to those of you who have come forward and been my friend for years or a new part of my soul family, I also thank you just as much. It feels really, really good to finally arrive at this place. Each and every one of you has taught me to truly LOVE who I am.

Let yourself SHINE.  Sparkle.  Be courageous. Be authentic. Speak your truth. Be different. Be creative. Go for your dreams. Be bold. Be daring. There’s only ONE YOU in the entire world. You are amazing beyond belief.  Believe this.  Believe. This. You are an amazing spirit incarnated in an amazingly complex human body. You are infused with the Light of our Creator.  Look for the good in every situation and TRUST God–Goddess–Universe–Spirit that you are going in exactly the right direction and you will end up exactly where you need to be.

And as I conclude, the final draft of this blog, I hear the hawk outside my window right now (no kidding!). I love the way Spirit speaks to us.

Aloha, Namaste and SO much love, (borrowed from Tom Lescher)

Kathy Lee 10/28/2013   http://www.tigerlilysgarden.com

If this blog resonates with you. please feel free to share it!

“Thank You” ~ Alanis Morissette  ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5mTJKg26jg  (Lyrics on screen, to listen to these lyrics and let them sink in is a great meditation.)

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2 comments on “Thank You, Disillusionment

  1. Laura says:

    Great read Kathy. Really resonates with what I have been going through lately/ Thanks for stating it so beautifully ❤ ❤

  2. Donna says:

    I am so glad to have you as my friend. You are a fantastic woman…I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. Hope to see you in Jan. ❤ ❤

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