I was driving through a neighborhood this evening and a house is for sale, where I knew the folks for 41 years. They are gone now, passed over to the other side. And I was thinking how life is a flux of constant change and that the only constant IS change. And yet, there is this paradox, in that some things never change. Namely people. Short of a miracle-hit-in-the-head-with-lightening-by-God kind of thing, people stay the same. By holding even a scrap of hope of change, we deeply hurt ourselves. We rub salt in old wounds. We waste our precious energy. We open doors that should remain closed.
People are who they are. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. Especially people who are already at mid-life or beyond…they are set in their ways. And then it becomes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” It’s at this time that we bless them and release them to their journey. We have to stop imagining what it could have been, what we hoped for or what we thought they could have become and who we thought they were. We release the fantasy and face the reality. Because the only thing real is now…..this instant….and what is. Reopening the door one last time does serve one purpose and one purpose only : to bring solace to your conscience and allow it to be clear knowing you did all you could to reach out and rectify whatever situation it was.
Then, finally, one last time, you close the door and you walk away and you never, ever look back.
I hear the Universe softly whisper to me, “Don’t get discouraged, my child” as I realize this paradox. Because it can be deeply discouraging and depressing and very sad to experience the death of a dream. To realize that what you thought was real was just a fallacy. But it is what it is, no more and no less. What you see is what you get. I realize that it’s easier for most to follow the ‘popular’ crowd and be liked than to step away from what they know to be wrong and go it alone for awhile. It’s cowardly, in my opinion, but it’s who people are and it’s all they know. Everyone is at a different place in their journey of spiritual evolution and it’s not my job to judge or try to “help them see”. (Actually, this is futile.)
So, let it go, walk away and don’t bother looking back.
Better things are waiting for you in your future.
Kathy Lee 9/3/2014